December 2018

Uncategorized

Staff’s New Year’s Resolution For 2019: Actually Check IDs

ITHICA, NY -- The employees of Shots and Lagers, a local haunt for college students, have decided to make 2019 the year where they actually check people’s IDs for once. Instead of their usual half-hearted glances at the government issued…

Sauce On the SideDecember 31, 2018

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Overpaid Staff With Benefits Watch As Restaurant Burns Down Three Hours After Opening

OMAHA, NE -- The crestfallen staff of Don Vespucci O’Malley’s Casa Del Yum Yum Chinese stared wide-eyed at their restaurant as flames engulfed the the building. Despite only having been open for a matter of hours, they had already grown…

Sauce On the SideDecember 30, 2018

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Dad Uses Magnifying Glass In Search Of Upcharge

COLUMBIA, MO -- Trent Mason, habitually absent father and aspiring cuckhold, took his wife and children out for a nice meal at You Cheddar You Cheddar You Bet -a local vegan eatery. Everything went smooth, according to their server Cody…

Sauce On the SideDecember 29, 2018

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Restaurant First Aid Kit Raided For Morphine

CORPUS CHRISTI, TX -- The kitchen of Come To My Window has erupted into complete chaos in the middle of the dinner rush. Tickets are flowing from the printer onto the floor and a small fire has started on sautee…

Sauce On the SideDecember 28, 2018

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Stocking Stuffers A Grim Reminder Of Those Fired

CINCINNATI, OH -- The stockings with staff names hanging by the host stand at Another One Bites The Crust have been a grim reminder of turnover throughout the past year. Bill Henderson, owner of Another One Bites The Crust, considers…

Sauce On the SideDecember 27, 2018

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Line Cook With Substance Abuse Issues Mysteriously Dies Young

LAS VEGAS, NV -- The staff of Bolognious Monk have been mourning the loss of Paul Carson Peters, who was often lovingly referred to as PCPete. His no holds barred approach to life/partying, in general, was an inspiration to everyone…

Sauce On the SideDecember 26, 2018

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Santa Confused By sous Chef’s Pretentious Cookie Tray

PORTLAND, OR -- For the first time in hundreds of years, Kris Kringle has found himself out of his element, in regards to cookie consumption. Jason Jasonson, sous chef for Vlad’s House of Cuban Delights, spent hours thinking of ways…

Sauce On the SideDecember 25, 2018

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Stupid Kid Can’t Even Read Kids’ Menu

DALLAS, TX -- Mindy Cranson has been struggling to understand why table 32 in her section in even bothered to bring their child in with them to Flour For Algernon. “It makes no sense to me,” Mindy, taking inventory of…

Sauce On the SideDecember 24, 2018

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Vegan Customer Confused By ToVeal

PITTSBURGH, PA -- Candice Lainey, first time customer at Fry It, We’ll Eat Some Chives has been a self-aggrandizing vegan and amateur planker for seven years. In addition to regularly complaining about the temperature inside the restaurant, always asking servers…

Sauce On the SideDecember 21, 2018

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Shitty Friend Doesn’t Remind Bartender It’s Your Birthday

ARLINGTON, VA -- Page Harper has been celebrating her twenty-second birthday with her friends for about six hours now. Their current “Wooooo!” count hovers around one every 93 seconds. Needless to say, things are getting a little rowdy. All of…

Sauce On the SideDecember 20, 2018

Staff’s New Year’s Resolution For 2019: Actually Check IDs

Overpaid Staff With Benefits Watch As Restaurant Burns Down Three Hours After Opening

Dad Uses Magnifying Glass In Search Of Upcharge

Restaurant First Aid Kit Raided For Morphine

Stocking Stuffers A Grim Reminder Of Those Fired

Line Cook With Substance Abuse Issues Mysteriously Dies Young

Santa Confused By sous Chef’s Pretentious Cookie Tray

Stupid Kid Can’t Even Read Kids’ Menu

Vegan Customer Confused By ToVeal

Shitty Friend Doesn’t Remind Bartender It’s Your Birthday

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December 2018

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