February 2019

Coffee Shop Owner Fails To Gentrify Neighborhood

AUSTIN, TX -- Gary Connelly, the owner of Roast Me, loses sleep every night, staring at the ceiling and wondering where he went wrong. Three years ago, when he opened Roast Me’s doors for the very first time, he was…

Sauce On the SideFebruary 28, 2019

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Food Truck Staff Expected To Be Solving More Mysteries

PORTLAND, OR -- The crew of Veals on Wheels is slowly realizing that their idea of working in a mobile kitchen isn’t turning out the way they thought it would. They’ve driven across the country three times, set up shop…

Sauce On the SideFebruary 27, 2019

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Customers Overly Jealous Of Their Server Laughing With Other Table

LOS ANGELES, CA -- The Johnson family is worried that they’re losing their server, Brenda Scott, to another table. Something told them, by the way Brenda and her table were talking, it was over. David Johnson, patriarch of the Johnson…

Sauce On the SideFebruary 26, 2019

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Owner Installs Cameras, Discovers He’s Into Voyeurism

ORLANDO, FL -- Steve Amandi, owner of Everyday I’m Truffle-Inn, installed cameras in his hotel/restaurant around three months ago. In the first fifteen minutes of watching the feed, Mr. Amandi learned some things about his staff and himself that he…

Sauce On the SideFebruary 25, 2019

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Server Shocked To Discover Trash Can In Dish Pit

ALBUQUERQUE, NM -- Kendra McCarthy, aspiring MENSA member and intrepid explorer, made a shocking discovery on her latest expedition to the dish pit. To the amazement of herself and her fellow servers, she finds that there is actually a trash…

Sauce On the SideFebruary 24, 2019

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Scientists Find Alcohol-Based Life Forms At Restaurant

AUSTIN, TX -- Experts the world over have been reeling at the latest discovery by scientists at the University of Texas. After taking multiple samples from area restaurants, it has been determined that complex, alcohol-based life forms not only exist…

Sauce On the SideFebruary 23, 2019

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Chef Banging Things In Kitchen Can’t Make Enough Noise To Get Noticed

MANHATTAN, NY -- Chef Branthony Gourdain has been performing his personal rendition of Stomp with the pots, pans, cutting boards and expo station for around 45 minutes. No one working is sure why Chef Gourdain is treating them to this…

Sauce On the SideFebruary 22, 2019

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Manager Wants To Speak With Herself

PITTSBURGH, PA -- Stacy Harbor has been a manager at Pour Some Burger On Me, a local seafood restaurant, for around seven years. Just yesterday, she finally noticed that she’s a terrible manager. The sudden revelation has put her employees…

Sauce On the SideFebruary 21, 2019

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Server Holds Bill Hostage

FORT WAYNE, IN -- Stacy Smith has been in a standoff with local police and SWAT for the past 18 hours. The situation began during yesterday’s dinner rush when she barricaded herself in the expo station, taking table 13’s check…

Sauce On the SideFebruary 20, 2019

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Entire Kitchen Quits After Refusing To Fuck With Each Other

ORLANDO, FL -- Soup’s On, a local steakhouse that refuses to serve soup, is in the middle of an employment crisis. After being forced to close yesterday, due to the fact that every line cook walked out in unison, the…

Sauce On the SideFebruary 19, 2019

Coffee Shop Owner Fails To Gentrify Neighborhood

Food Truck Staff Expected To Be Solving More Mysteries

Customers Overly Jealous Of Their Server Laughing With Other Table

Owner Installs Cameras, Discovers He’s Into Voyeurism

Server Shocked To Discover Trash Can In Dish Pit

Scientists Find Alcohol-Based Life Forms At Restaurant

Chef Banging Things In Kitchen Can’t Make Enough Noise To Get Noticed

Manager Wants To Speak With Herself

Server Holds Bill Hostage

Entire Kitchen Quits After Refusing To Fuck With Each Other

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February 2019

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