March 2019

Uncategorized

Badass Cook Grabs Hot Plate At Mexican Restaurant

DALLAS, TX -- Tiffany Nelson originally thought that her customer at table 16 was just like any other. This foolhardy notion that Travis was just like any other civilians walking into Cabronito was dashed the minute she brought out his…

Connor IvesMarch 30, 2019

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Heroic Employee Changes Sanitizer Mix; Saves Countless Lives

TULSA, OK -- Becky Davis, considered a close second to Gandhi by her coworkers, has been given an impromptu awards ceremony at Dish It, her place of employment. The honor bestowed upon her by the staff is the first-ever “Best…

Sasha JordanMarch 29, 2019

Uncategorized

Failing Restaurant Gets Golden Tee Machine, Still Failing

STOCKTON, CA -- A banner reading “Now Kind Of Like Dave & Busters” boldly hangs at the entrance to Aglio Shack. In his office, through the empty dining area and past the unused kitchen, Bruce Banner is currently weighing his…

Greg ParkerMarch 27, 2019

Uncategorized

Kitchen Invests In Self, Poverty Ensues

NEWARK, NJ -- The BOH boys at Plate of Dishpair, in an attempt to break out of the service industry and become an international phenomenon, have been pooling the tipouts they get from the servers and bartenders. After six months…

Sean RussellMarch 22, 2019

Uncategorized

Buffet Customer Has A Lot On His Plate Right Now

DALLAS, TX -- David Finch walked into Gilded Confine an 83-year-old man who had just eaten an edible for the first time. After spending five minutes counting out the 5 dollars he needed to pay in order to access the…

Greg ParkerMarch 21, 2019

Uncategorized

Busy Bartender Annoyed that He’s Not Drunk Already

MIAMI, FL -- Rather than using the steady stream of customers that have been seated at his bar all day to bring in tips like any other bartender would, Conrad Laremy has been spending his energy attempting to get them…

Sasha JordanMarch 20, 2019

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Cooks Unwittingly Outdrink Bachelor Party

GREENSBORO, NC -- The entire kitchen staff of I’m Brewding were well on their way to being completely wasted, in a weekly ritual often referred to as “Tuesday.” Unbeknownst to them, a bachelor party sitting at a booth on the…

Eric MadsenMarch 12, 2019

Uncategorized

Waiter Carries Super Impressive Amount Of Plates

MESA, AZ -- Clark Bronson, self-proclaimed badass, regularly performs feats of incredible strength and dexterity while on the clock at The Jaeger Bomber, a local bar and restaurant one strike away from being shut down for serving minors. Everyone on…

Sasha JordanMarch 11, 2019

Uncategorized

Maoist Chef Burns Old Cook Books

OMAHA, NE -- Robert Smith, head chef of MS Gee That’s Good, is overseeing a culinary revolution in his kitchen. After a night of drunkenly shouting at the television while watching Chopped, Mr. Smith resolved himself to do away the…

Greg ParkerMarch 10, 2019

Uncategorized

Trainee Witnesses Third Thing That “Never Happens”

MINNEAPOLIS, MN -- Stacy Garland is in the middle of her first training shift at Kegs Benedict, a local breakfast brewery, and seriously considering walking out. Despite only having been on the clock for around two and a half hours,…

Greg ParkerMarch 8, 2019

Badass Cook Grabs Hot Plate At Mexican Restaurant

Heroic Employee Changes Sanitizer Mix; Saves Countless Lives

Failing Restaurant Gets Golden Tee Machine, Still Failing

Kitchen Invests In Self, Poverty Ensues

Buffet Customer Has A Lot On His Plate Right Now

Busy Bartender Annoyed that He’s Not Drunk Already

Cooks Unwittingly Outdrink Bachelor Party

Waiter Carries Super Impressive Amount Of Plates

Maoist Chef Burns Old Cook Books

Trainee Witnesses Third Thing That “Never Happens”

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March 2019

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