SACRAMENTO, CA -- After thousands of man hours, the search for the 17 year old new hire, Alex Rodriguez, has been called off. The young teen was last seen being shouted at by Stacy Decanter, the kitchen’s manager. After a twenty five minutes of beration, Mr. Rodriguez disappeared from the line. His mother fondly remembers the last time they spoke before he vanished, “Alex was so excited to include his time at this restaurant in his college application,”  the fortune 500 HR rep told Sauce OTS, “I was certain that he could handle whatever the world had to throw at him. It had to be their fault. My golden star wouldn’t have left there unless they did something truly horrific. Like expecting him to work hard.”

“They were just so mean,” Alex said, swaddled in a blanket drinking cocoa, “I asked if any of them wanted to go to a party I was invited to that night. It’s at this senior’s house and she’s super hot. Instead of being honored that I would throw them a bone like this, all they had to say was: ‘Shove it up your ass, the only thing we know about you is that you’re not working.’ It was like nothing I had to say even mattered to them.”

Allegedly, Alex was sent off the line in order to look for cayenne pepper on Monday night. It wouldn’t be until early thursday morning that his whereabouts were known. The kitchen manager of the restaurant had this to say on the matter: “I knew that toddler wouldn’t last one day on my line. He kept talking about Youtube celebrities and asking what time he could go home. So, I gave Alex something to look for that I knew he couldn’t find, in the hopes of getting two seconds away from him. I knew he wouldn’t last one day. Seriously, that kid might be worse than Hitler.”

The restaurant staff refused to help police search for the boy claiming that he was “worthless, anyway.” Alex was found in the walk-in three days later, under a pile of greens he was using for warmth. The only reason he was discovered alive was due to the fact that his phone’s battery had died, and his whining could be heard throughout the restaurant. It remains to be seen whether any charges will  be filed.

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