Bartender Carries Keg One-Handed, No One Is Amazed
Sep 24, 2018
HENDERSON, NV -- Danton Cantor has been a bartender at Witches Brew for several months. Do to events in his childhood that he claims he doesn’t want to talk about but can’t resist bringing up constantly, Danton has a desperate need to be recognized for everything he does. Everyone who works with him is aware of it but they enjoy withholding the praise he desires far too much. Earlier this afternoon, Mr. Cantor cut a lime wedge so perfectly that he went around to everyone working and had them inspect it to verify its perfection.
“He just keeps talking,” Colleen Masters, a server at Witches Brew, told Sauce On the Side, “I feel like his mother coddled him too much. Anytime he does something remarkably ordinary, he feels like it’s extraordinary. Then he runs around trying to get attention for it. We’ve tried ignoring him, but he’s like a perpetual motion machine of neediness.” Denton’s latest achievement was managing to carry a keg one-handed. In order to ensure that his coworkers saw what he was doing, Mr. Cantor began carrying it around the entire restaurant. He even managed to curl it once before having to set it down because it got too heavy.
“We know it’s empty,” Colleen said, “everyone figured it out the minute we saw him pick it up, but he’s been trying to pass it off like he’s some kind of Superman. I don’t think he realizes that we’re going to have him change every single keg from now on. We’ll see how much he likes showing off after that.”
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