HUNTINGTON, NY -- The entire kitchen staff of The Clarified Buttler has been struggling to competently do their jobs throughout the entire dinner rush. Unbeknownst to the FOH, all of their cooks decided that a Friday night kitchen shift would be a great time to drop acid together. Their ticket times are hovering around forty-five minutes and every single time an angry server asks them where their table’s order is, the line cooks just start giggling.

“I feel like everything is all wavy,” Tom Carson, an 18 year old line cook totally tripping balls, told Sauce On the Side, “and I’m a lot more sweaty than normal. Is that normal? What if I stay like this forever? I think I can still make food like this. I think this could be normal.”

The serving staff of The Clarified Buttler are not as enthusiastic about their kitchen’s terribly stupid decision. Almost everything they’ve gotten from the kitchen has been wrong in one way or another and needed to be sent back. Inexplicably, they are unable to properly plate salsa but can somehow perfectly serve their handmade dumplings.

“This is total bullshit,” Stacy Warner, an incredibly disgruntled server who knows she isn’t going to make any money tonight, said, “they have been burning every one of my entrees. Even the cold ones! My customers keep sending it back; and instead of fixing it, the kitchen just puts the same thing in the window covered in melted cheese. Yeah, my customers love it and don’t even notice that it’s the same food but that’s not the point. I swear to God these line cooks can get away with anything.”
      

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