TULSA, OK -- Becky Davis, considered a close second to Gandhi by her coworkers, has been given an impromptu awards ceremony at Dish It, her place of employment. The honor bestowed upon her by the staff is the first-ever “Best Employee” plaque. It will be placed at the front entrance of the restaurant for everyone to see. The hallmark reads: “To Becky, the best there ever was. For her valiant conduct in the line of duty and the countless lives she has saved.” Miss Davis isn’t quite sure why anyone has gone to these lengths for her and is trying to play it cool with her oh so typical, “Becky humility.”
“Seriously, I have no idea why everyone’s making this such a big deal,” the hero in question, told Sauce On the Side. “I keep trying to tell them I was next level hungover when I changed the sani mix. All I wanted to do was avoid doing opening work at all costs. Now they’re all talking about getting tattoos with my face on their stomachs.”
Becky “God’s Gift To Humanity” Davis’s manager Mark, insists that she’s just trying to cloud her origin story by oversimplifying what happened: “She’s told everyone that story like it’s no big deal, but do you realize how many of us on the opening crew are hungover in the morning? Every goddamn person. I’ve personally just stared at the lone, empty sanitizer mix as I filled buckets for weeks. Becky didn’t just know where the new mix was, she used her legs to bring it out of dry storage and actually put it into the dispenser. That’s a kind of dedication to her craft we just don’t see here at Dish It.”
How About You Worry About Your Station and I'll Worry About Mine? How's That for a Fucking Idea, Marshall?
Jul 2, 2019
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