DETROIT, MI -- When the Kid Rock Kitchen opened in downtown Detroit, no one was sure what to think, and the past six months haven’t helped anyone make up their minds. With entrees like the Natty Daddy Chicken Soup, Cowboy Steamed Canned Green Beans, and Fried Twinkie Encrusted with Chili Cheese Frito Doritos and a Jack Daniel’s Glaze, the menu has been described as: “Every reason to hate America in one manifesto” and “The ramblings of a manic depressive Guy Fieri’s dying soliloquy.”

	The unnecessarily aggressive ad campaign directed at single fathers who have their kids for the weekend has been a source of controversy. Critics claim that the promotions relied too heavily on phrases like “Our Masculinity Isn’t Toxic, Bitch, It’s Edible”, “She Took the House, But You Took Her Virginity On Prom Night in the Back of Your Bitchin’ Camero”, and “Our Servers Have Large Breasts!” 

	Every table has its own bottle of Jack Daniel’s on it, with a sign reading “It’s Your Meal, Jack It.” This and their refusal to check ID’s because “age is a number” has led to many a drunk grade-schooler wandering around the restaurant wanting “a fucking coloring book.” The fact that the Baja Blast Bar’s liquor license hasn’t been suspended is an utter miracle.

	Kid Rock Kitchen’s existence in the year 2019 is largely inexplicable. Then again, so is Kid Rock’s career at this point. So, for better or worse, everyone in the Detroit area is stuck with it for the foreseeable future.
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