MODESTO, CA -- Karen Quinn, a woman who can be considered less of a helicopter and more of a Predator Drone mom, has taken her three children to Oedipus Mex, their favorite family-friendly restaurant. Everything was going well, until they were seated and given menus. After looking at the specials recently added to the menu, Karen immediately demanded she speak with a manager. “This is a disgrace,” Mrs. Quinn, who still holds the napkin for her 16 year old son while he blows his nose, said, “my children are stars, shining bright for the whole world to see. I always come here to order them the specials, because they’re the best, but these just aren’t enough for my golden angels.”

One of the issues is that Oedipus Mex typically has a steak option on their menu that she always orders for her 18 year old son, despite the fact that Karen has never asked him if he likes steak or not. Mrs. Quinn has informed the manager that her boy needs a steak special to be added to the menu immediately. “This place should know by now that my baby needs his protein. Look at him, isn’t he handsom,” Karen told Sauce OTS, “if he doesn’t get a steak, he’s never going to grow up to be the strapping, doctor-philanthropist, that I’m going to make him be.” During the entire interaction, Mrs. Quinn’s fourteen year old daughter has been banging her head against the table.

Tony Chavez, the manager of Oedipus Mex is very familiar with Karen’s unique maternal approach by now. “I’m forced to deal with her on an almost weekly basis,” Tony said, “every time she comes in here, nothing is good enough. She’ll probably tell us that she’s never coming back here again, at the end of her meal. Unfortunately, they always do.” Mr. Chavez is well aware of what to do with Mrs. Quinn’s input. He springs into action, telling her that he’s going to admonish the kitchen for not having a special steak for her special boy. When Tony gets back to the kitchen, he simply says: “Crazy lady’s back with her kids again. You know the drill. Just put some cheese and pico, or something, on a steak and wrap it in a tortilla.”
Looks Good!
Please Correct An Error Here.