BALTIMORE, MD -- A cold chill came over Melissa Bronson as she hung up the phone and sent the caller’s order back to the kitchen. For the first time in her life, she felt true despair as a disembodied voice called out from behind her: “Ahahahaha, another soul for the Dark Lord’s harvest.” It was in that very moment Melissa knew she was to spend eternity in the fires of hell, forever tormented.

	“I’ve done a lot of terrible shit in my life, okay,” Miss Bronson, pale white and staring off into the distance, said blankly. “I’ve spent six months with a shaved head, pretending to have cancer, to get out of shifts whenever I wanted to, but I guess that call in order was the worst thing I’ve ever done. I never thought hell was real. I never thought anything I did mattered, but now I know that it’s very real and that’s where I’m going.”
      
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