PITTSBURGH, PA -- Candice Lainey, first time customer at Fry It, We’ll Eat Some Chives has been a self-aggrandizing vegan and amateur planker for seven years.  In addition to regularly complaining about the temperature inside the restaurant, always asking servers if they’re happy with what they do, and occasionally leaving unhelpful Yelp reviews, Candice enjoys trying out the latest vegan fair around town. Her trip to Fry It, We’ll Eat Some Chives has proven to be more of an ethical dilemma than she’d expected.

The item description of their latest special left Miss Lainey staring at her menu for the better half of an hour. “I don’t know who would do this,” Candice said, “it says: ‘try our new ToVeal, it contains all the flavor of a life cut short with only some of the guilt.’ What the hell am I supposed to do with that? I never thought I would have to say this, but I think we vegans have taken things too far this time. I have no choice but to call my boyfriend and yell at him about it until I feel better.”
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