TULSA, OK — After receiving several calls throughout the day in regards to vagrancy, local police were dispatched to Do It For The Vine, a local wine bar. As Officer Mike Laretto arrived on the scene, it wasn’t initially clear to him where the problem was. “Usually we’ll see people with signs out front that say something like: ‘Anything helps,’ or whatever,” the arresting officer told Sauce On the Side, “but this guy somehow made it inside the building! No kidding, he had his little jars up on the bar and everything.” Never, in his fifteen years of service, had Mike ever seen anything like it. He was shocked when the perp confessed that he had been trespassing inside the restaurant before it had even opened. It was later revealed that Dave Mason, upstanding citizen and owner of Do It For The Vine, was the one who called in the complaints. “Oh, it’s just a little strategy I have to deal with some of my employees,” Dave, sporting a super rad Tapout shirt and Billabong shorts, told Sauce. “Instead of writing them up, I just call the cops on them and have them arrested for a few days. I have no idea why the police haven’t figured out what I’m doing. Oh, and it’s a great way to run background checks. Turns out somebody I hired a while ago lied about having a felony on their record. So he’s been in jail for the past six months, but that’s what you get when you mess with a savvy business owner such as myself.”

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