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SEATTLE, WA — Kevin Sanders, a line cook at The Par Sleigh, has just made an earth-shattering discovery: cardboard boxes take up less space when they’re broken down. In the seventeen years, Mr. Sanders has spent in the restaurant industry, he has been researching the most effective way to place boxes in the recycling dumpster. “This project has been my life’s work,” Kevin told Sauce On the Side, “every single day, I would see cardboard boxes overflowing from the dumpster, and all I could think was that there had to be a better way. Now we know the answer.”

 

Mr. Sanders plans to publish his findings in whatever scientific journal will accept his submission, stating that “the people need to know about this breakthrough.” Sauce OTS initially had its doubts as to the efficacy of Kevin’s assertions. After being taken through a demonstration of how to take a three dimensional, cubic shape and turn it into a flat object, we had several independent experts verify the results. It turns out that a flat object does, in fact, take up less space than a box. We were also able to verify Kevin’s insistence that the process of breaking down a cardboard box does not require a high IQ, cause any form of brain damage or birth defects, utilize witchcraft in any way, or take an inordinate amount of time. It remains to be seen if his peers in the service industry will implement his research at their workplaces.

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