LAREDO, TX — The kitchen staff of Stealy Dan’s Fine Dining Roadhouse, has been uncertain of how to approach their head chef about his latest special idea. Kevin, the chef in question, decided that an excellent way to cut down on food cost and provide his customers with an excellent dining experience would be to make his own foie gras. Last week, the kitchen staff discovered that their boss intended to implement his plan by force-feeding ducks in the local park. “It’s weird, right,” Javier, one of the line cooks, told this reporter, “I have no idea how he hasn’t been arrested yet. I was walking home one day and saw him knee deep in the pond with one arm wrapped around a duck and the other pouring a bag of food into its mouth.”
Sauce On the Side caught up with Kevin in the park to get his take on the situation. “Yeah, this is brilliant, I know,” Kevin told Sauce OTS, while chasing ducks in circles like some kind of drunken homeless man, “when we put this on the menu, people are going to lose their minds. I just hope no other restaurant around here tries to get in on this.” Kevin seems completely unaware that the park rangers plan on arresting him later this week, or that he’s doing anything remotely unlawful. Stealy Dan’s Fine Dining Roadhouse has been interviewing head chefs to replace Kevin for the past week, and wishes our readers to know that they do not, in any way, condone animal cruelty.