DENVER, CO — Charles Winthrop has hit a newfound personal low that he hadn’t even realized existed. After working in the service industry for years, he has finally began announcing his presence around the house to his five cats. “It’s not like they give a fuck,” Charlie stated, “all my cats just look at me like I’m an idiot for even thinking that they’d get in my way. I mean, they’ve seen me when I’m drunk.” Mr. Winthrop has been seriously considering the ramifications of this latest break from reality over the past hour and a half.
”I just feel like my civilian life is over,” Charles told Sauce OTS, “I’ve been in the service industry for so long that I think it’s time to fully enlist.” Through careful consideration, Mr. Winthrop has decided to grow a beard and get sleeve tattoos on both of his arms because, “that’s what all the serious kitchen workers I know have,” Charlie has also abandoned any hope of ever having a personal life outside of work ever again, “I gave up my Facebook, Tinder, and Twitter. Because that shit doesn’t have to do with cooking at all. I also took on an additional 35 hours a week at work and sent several drunken rants to some of my co-workers that were so cryptic and full of typos that they could only glean from them that I was angry about something.” From what this reporter can gather, Charles is well on his way to becoming a fully formed ‘Back of House Asshole,’ and we look forward to any upcoming developments in his transformation