SANTA ANA, CA — Christy Daten and the rest of the staff at Julia Wild’s Country Buffet, have had a modest crisis thrust upon themselves, recently. One of their customers, Tony Denza, is dead set upon not having a good day at all. “As the general manager, I have no choice but to correct Tony’s behavior,” Christy said, “here at Julia Wild’s, we do everything we can to make every customer’s experience here positive.” Upon seeing that the food and excellent service wasn’t enough for Tony, Mrs. Daten decided to take further steps to please the moody client.

Washing his car while he was finishing his dessert brought no joy to his face whatsoever. After he left the restaurant, Christy followed his car to the grocery store, where she proceeded to buy all of his groceries. Still, not even a smile. “This one’s a tough nut to crack, but by God I’m going to do it,” Mrs. Daten told Sauce OTS. Despite providing Tony with a lifetime supply of toilet paper, paying his rent for the next two months, hiring the most expensive prostitute in the area, and giving him a coupon book for free hugs: Christy has been unable to make his day.

“I don’t get it,” Tony informed this reporter, “all I really wanted was to be left alone and eat my meal with some peace and quiet, but this lady kept coming up and asking me questions about the food and my experience. Now she’s following me around like some kind of freakshow, and bothering the hell out of me. I keep telling her to leave me alone, but she said she won’t until I have a good day. I wonder if she’s ever gonna figure out that solitude is what I need to accomplish that.”

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