LOS ANGELES, CA — The Johnson family is worried that they’re losing their server, Brenda Scott, to another table. Something told them, by the way Brenda and her table were talking, it was over. David Johnson, patriarch of the Johnson clan, said that he’d rather go blind than to see Miss Scott walk away with their menus.

“When I think back to the magic we had when she was taking our drink order, I want to cry,” Jane Johnson, staring down at the menu, reminisced. “We came here looking for a Sunday kind of service, and now I just feel like the connection we felt was purely transactional for her. I want us to be the one she comes running food to.”

After Brenda retreated from the other table into the server station, Mr. Johnson took the opportunity to go over and let the other table know that their server was one of a kind and that if they’re what she needs, he’s fine with it. “I just don’t know what she sees in them,” David said after returning to his seat.

This isn’t the first time that Brenda has had to deal with the stage-5 clingers known as the Johnson family. The entire staff is aware of how possessive they get about whoever’s taking care of them. “I knew he was going to go over and talk to my other table,” Miss Scott told Sauce On the Side. “They always pull some weird shit when they’re here. We’ve tried to ban them three times, but they keep coming back saying that they just can’t quit us. I just wish we could talk them into seeing other restaurants.”

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