KANSAS CITY, MO — The staff at Ted’s Tavern have been readying themselves for the inevitable 2 o’clock pop that occurs every single time the restaurant across the street closes. “They’re in Kansas,” Sandra, one of the bartenders, told Sauce On the Side, “they have to close at two am, but we’re on the other side of the state line. In Missouri, we can stay open until three, and our owner never lets us close early.” Unfortunately for Ted’s Tavern, it’s been remarkably slow for a Tuesday, which means that the staff of Carte Blanche across the street has been able to close up shop earlier than anticipated.


A gaggle of buzzed servers, cooks and bartenders burst into the door as the team at Ted’s were in the middle of wrapping the bar in cellophane to prevent the Carte Blanche staff from turning the bar top into a sugary tar pit. Things took a sharp turn after the Carte Blanche employees ordered a round of Sambuca. They took over the outside patio that had already been broken down and maintained that they would put it back to the way it was before they left. They never do. “I’m just counting down the seconds until I can kick them out,” Sandra said, “I know there’s gonna be three of them smoking weed out by our dumpster at the end of the night. And I would put money on the fact that two of them are going to start trying to hook up in our bathroom. I feel like I’m living some weird version of Quantrill’s Raid every single night with them.”

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