SEATTLE, WA — Connor Carter has just ended his sixth year at the local community college. After changing his major three times, Mr. Carter is incredibly excited to put his English degree to use. “I’ve applied to many different publishing houses, newspapers and online blogs,” he told Sauce On the Side, “but no one ever called me back for an interview. Which is ridiculous; I’ve been writing for two and a half years and I’m ready for a serious gig.”
Fortunately for Connor, he had submitted his application to several, as he puts it, “alternative media platforms.” The first of these “platforms” to return his call and hire him was the Starbucks he would frequent as a student. Mr. Carter firmly believes that his ability to write names and little notes that he considers reminiscent of Chaucer on people’s coffee cups will be recognized in a matter of months.
“Look, I’m grateful to Starbucks for this paid internship; it’s a wonderful opportunity,” said Connor as he read an abridged copy of Les Miserables during his break, “but I’ll be on to bigger and better things in no time. My deft hand is bound to be recognized sooner or later. A few minutes ago I was quoting Kafka to a customer at the counter and she was super impressed. She only interrupted me twice to make sure I got her order right and then ran off, I assume, to tell her friends about my brilliance.”