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TULSA, OK — Dave is upset, not only is he a regular diner at Steve’s Palace of Munchies, but he has also sent his order back three times after it was delivered to him containing an intact chicken embryo. “I don’t mean to cause a fuss,” Dave told Sauce OTS, “it’s just that I don’t want to be aware of where my food came from.” Regardless of the fact that the dish is listed on the menu as including a chicken embryo; after complaining to around six different people, Dave has found the appropriate person to level his qualms at.

Evan, the prep cook, was drinking heavily after ending a shift he had described as, “the entire reason why I drown my sorrows in whiskey and affirmation for why my girlfriend is on birth control,” when David approached him. “This little bastard comes out of nowhere and starts talking shit on the special I’d created weeks ago,” Evan ranted, “I’d forgotten I had even come up with Chicken a la Vie, and then this little bastard comes up to me bitching about it. I guess he just felt like he should complain to me, it’s not like I was wearing anything that would betray the fact that I worked there.”

Dave was, in fact, simply complaining to anybody who would listen to him. After talking to the hostess, two servers, and wandering into the kitchen and being told to ‘fuck off’ he had meandered up to the bar. “I didn’t even know he worked there until I started laying out my issues in a calm, reasonable manner, and then he just lost it,” David alleged. After a seventeen and a half minute rant, Evan had brought the customer to tears -and had inadvertently soiled himself out of shear passion. “It’ll be a long time before that little fuck runs his mouth without reading the menu thoroughly again,” Evan informed this reporter, “also, do you have any spare pants? I want to keep drinking and I don’t want to go home and change.”

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