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Head Chef Doesn’t Want To Talk About His Fucking Anger Problem

By April 30, 2019 No Comments

TULSA, OK -- Bobby Trawler, head chef at Let It Brie, often struggles to use his big boy words when he gets upset. It could be because his parents never taught him how to deal with his anger, trouble with his marriage, or he may even hate his job, but no one he works with has been able to figure it out, because he never “wants to fucking talk about it.” “It’s obvious the dude has issues,” Cassidy Kent, a server at Let It Brie, told Sauce On the Side. “No normal human being gets as pissed at random bullshit as he does. Seriously, We want to get him help, but he won’t let us. Last week he spent twenty minutes yelling at a pot of water because it wasn’t boiling fast enough. It’s like, just go outside or something dude.” The line itself has been completely remodeled to avoid anything that has pissed off Chef Trawler in the past. A few examples of the things that have been removed from the line: All ramekins below 2 ounces, because anything less than two ounces is “the patriarchy’s fault” -no one was able to get him to explain why; any spatulas longer than 8 inches due to the fact that they are “only good for shoving up a worthless line cook’s ass” -the removal of these was actually the result of a sexual harassment lawsuit but the point stands; and serrated knives have also been hidden because Bobby tried to cut an onion with one last week and threw it across the line in the middle of a rush exclaiming that the knife was “more useless than his minor in Spanish poetry.” “Yeah, Chef does make things difficult for us,” Tanner Isaac, one of his victims/co-workers, said. “I just wish we could use the flat top again. We had to stop two weeks ago after Chef started beating it with a tenderizer because it splashed him with grease. He really needs help. Yesterday he told a lobster that he’d see it in hell before dropping it in the pot. Then he looked up at me and said: ‘I hear them scream in my dreams.”

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