DETROIT, MI — Upon arriving on scene at Pesto Both Worlds, firefighters were shocked to dicover that the owner was still hunkered down in the incediary nightmare that was once his kitchen. Drake Miller, the chef in question, has insisted that he will be on the line until it’s time to clock out. The fact that he isn’t receiving tickets because the restaurant is on fire doesn’t seem to phase him in the slightest. “He just told us that we were all fired and kept cursing at us as we ran out of the kitchen,” one of his former line cooks told Sauce On the Side.


The local fire department has been struggling to keep the blaze under control as a hostage negotiator insists that no will think any less of Mr. Miller is he simply allows the nice firemen to come rescue him. Drake maintains that this isn’t the issue at hand and that anyone who attempts to come between a chef and his kitchen will get the sharp side of his knife. After an hour of unproductive negotiations, one of the structural walls collapsed, allowing rescue teams to spirit Mr. Miller to the nearest ICU.


“I have no idea why they kicked me off the line,” Drake, currently sporting 3rd-degree burns over half of his body, said, “I hadn’t even finished getting ready for the dinner rush. I had changed the menu to be entirely based on cooking with an open fire pit. I hope everyone knows that they’re not getting their jobs back when we open tomorrow. I wasn’t kidding when I told them that if they couldn’t handle the heat to get out of the kitchen.”

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