BATON ROUGE, LA — Pedro Infante, a server at The Guero Grita, is gobsmacked at the patrons of table 36 in his section. The family’s patriarch has been flaunting his aptitude for language all night, and it’s astoundingly not super annoying. The proud padre has been correcting every single order his children and wife have tried to give to Pedro. “This guy is so cool,” Mr. Infante told Sauce OTS, “I’ve never seen anyone give me such a tour de force of smugness in this short of a time. I don’t even speak spanish fluently, but I can just tell that he took more than the mandatory amount of foreign language classes in high school.”

“Yeah, I have a bit of a gift, for idioma,” the father in question informed this reporter, somehow without being kind of a dick, “it was all the time I spent watching foreign cinema that gave me the language magica.” The way he pronounced ‘tres leches’ when asked about dessert left everyone in the restaurant floored. People began coming over to him and asking questions about the most appropriate way to annoy every future server they will encounter in a mexican restaurant. “Wow, that guy’s awesome,” Pedro said, “I know he’s not going to tip well at all and probably fight me on the price of every item on the bill I give them, but you can’t put a price on the useless knowledge and experience this guy gave me.”

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