Mandatory Meeting Makes It Very Clear Who Fucked Up

By July 9, 2019 No Comments

CLEVELAND, OH — The all staff meeting for the Et Tu Elote crew started just like any other: everyone was reminded that guests are people too, servers need to label their shit and rotate it properly, and the kitchen really needs to stop getting blackout drunk at the bar in full view of customers at 5 PM. Then, Terrence McCarthy, the general manager brought up the one thing everyone knew was coming: “Okay, so apparently some of our guests have been complaining that an employee has been taking violently loud shits in the bathroom. There’s nothing wrong with natural bodily functions, guys, it’s just a problem when our guests ask if we should call 911.” All eyes fell on Carter Miles, whose daily ”Bowl Breakers,” as he calls them, have been the cause of nervous conversation for weeks. “Honestly, I never thought we’d have to talk about this, and there’s nothing in the handbook about it. So I guess all I can do is ask that anyone who needs to use the restroom be respectful of others and keep the noise to a minimum,” Terrence said. The meeting continued for another forty-five minutes. The lion’s share of which consisted of incredibly stupid questions with obvious answers. All of which were asked by the worst staff members. It remains to be seen whether Carter has learned his lesson. When reached for comment after the meeting, Terrence told Sauce On the Side: “Look, I’m not singling anyone out, but if things don’t change there’s going to be some kind of repercussion. We’ll probably have to ban employees from using the restroom during business hours. I just hope everyone here doesn’t force me to be the bad guy on this one.”

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