LINCOLN, NE — Tucker Kant has been working at Go Fig Yourself for three whole shifts. In the young seventeen year old’s excitement over his first job, he decided that it was appropriate to write his name and phone number in sharpie on the bathroom wall. What Tucker, who took his cousin to prom, wasn’t anticipating was the fervent pushback from his newly acquired coworkers. “They saw what I did the next day and just started yelling at me,” Mr. Kant, a high schooler who dreams of going to burning man for networking purposes, told Sauce On the Side, “now I’ve got to scrub my name and number off the wall. They’re making me wear this stupid sign around my neck for the rest of the day too.”


The sign that Tucker is referring to reads: “I’m in timeout,” it was made especially for him. The staff of Go Fig Yourself never bothered to inform Tucker of their staff bathroom policies simply because they have been doing their best to make him feel entirely unwelcome at the restaurant. “That bathroom wall is for badasses,” Theresa May, server at Go Fig Yourself, said, “you’ve gotta do something crazy to earn the right to put your name and number up there. The last person who received that honor was Max, from the kitchen. He drank a whole bottle of cooking sherry one shift and then sneezed into a saute pan and it caught fire. That was inarguably awesome. You think Trevor, the kid who keeps trying to get us to play Magic with him deserves to be on a list with a guy like Max? Yeah, me neither.”

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