LONG BEACH, CA — Braden Maxwell has been a server at Bro Dave’s House of Wingz for a grand total of three weeks. In that time, the seventeen-year-old has been struggling to adapt to the nuances of life in the service industry. He’s been stopped from clocking out multiple times when his shift was scheduled to end because he hadn’t finished his side work. “I guess I like it okay here at Bro Dave’s,” Braden, looking really cool with his fidget spinner, told Sauce On the Side, “I just wish I knew what all these numbers people are throwing around mean. They said ‘86’ yesterday, and I had no idea what they were talking about.”


Rather than enlighten the young server, the staff of Bro Dave’s House of Wingz have taken it upon themselves to troll him as often as possible. “We’ve got a pretty great system here,” said Orrin Hatch, veteran line cook at Bro Dave’s. “Everybody here keeps shouting random numbers at the kid and letting him struggle to figure out what the hell we mean. Yesterday I just yelled ‘Braden, we’re 24 on table 12. Make sure you give your customers a 53 on that.’ I guess he thought that meant we weren’t going to be making any appetizers for the rest of the day.”


His fellow servers have also gotten in on the ruse, giving him various tasks and grading how he does on a scale of 1-32. The point value is completely arbitrary and carries no weight, but Braden is entirely unaware of that. He has asked multiple servers what their score is and then tells them that he’s at 124 for the week. Mr. Maxwell has yet to pick up on the fact that everyone tells him ‘86’ whenever he asks. “We’re trying to keep this a secret from management as long as possible,” Candice Smith, one of Braden’s co-workers, stated. “The kid’s a terrible worker, frankly. Messing with him is the only thing that makes him even remotely tolerable.”

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