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AUSTIN, TX — Mark Boyd was a straight A student, member of the National Honor Society, head of his high schools chess club, and avid fan of abstinence; then he got a job in the kitchen at Nothing But A C Wing. The staff of C Wing made the naive seventeen year old their passion project. “Look, we’re not exactly the greatest people in the world,” Katherine Isaac, line cook, told Sauce OTS, “so when you send us some cherubic looking kid wearing a purity ring, you better believe that we are going to do what we can to corrupt him.”

Several of the servers and bartenders agreed to do all they could, in order to help the kitchen corrupt Mark’s innocence. The third day on the job, the staff managed to get Mark high for the first time. “After that,” Katherine said, “it was smooth sailing, right to the bottom of the ocean. We were constantly harassing the kid. One of the servers, God bless her, took the time to sit down with Mark and make him listen to every detail of her sex life for about forty five minutes. I didn’t care in the least bit that we were in the weeds while it was going on. We all knew it was for the greater good.” The kitchen declared final victory when, after three months, Mark was asked where his purity ring went, and he gave his first ever “fuck off.”

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