No One Sure How To Tell Chef He’s Pronouncing “Sous Vide” Incorrectly

By June 8, 2019 No Comments

SAINT LOUIS, MO — Everyone on staff at Natural Kale Enhancement is pretty sure that Chef Manchego finished culinary school. At least, that’s their hope. His skill is unquestionable, but his ability to describe essentially anything he’s doing correctly isn’t exactly confidence inspiring. Chef often has to repeat himself three or four times when describing a dish’s preparation before his cooks understand what the fuck it is he’s saying, exactly. “I mean, the guy’s good at what he does,” Kit Langston, Manchego’s sous chef, told Sauce On the Side, “but he must have gotten his degree online, or something. Because I’ve never heard anyone pronounce ‘avacado’ ‘a-VAH-kuh-dough.’ It also doesn’t help that whenever we say things properly the dude flies off the handle.” The last time someone corrected Chef Manchego, the hostess in question was sent home for the day, asked to sign a non-disclosure agreement, and never returned. With the new menu set to be rolled out next week, the employees at Natural Kale Enhancement have been on edge. “I’ve got a thumbtack that I shove into my leg whenever he says ‘sauce v-day,” Candice, the bar manager, said. “It’s like hearing someone pronounce Missouri ‘Missour-uh,’ not everyone’s going to get that, but it’s the closest thing I can think of. I have no idea why we don’t just hire a new chef who knows how to use words correctly.” No one has ever seen Manchego’s diploma and anytime he’s asked where he went to culinary school, he just answers: “Nearby.” Chef has also been caught using recipes from the Food Network website on several occasions.

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