CHICAGO, IL — Eat My Bass, a local seafood restaurant, began implementing a “swear jar” policy several months ago to tremendous results. The decision to use the jar came after the owners of Eat My Bass realized that the majority of their poor reviews on Yelp were the result of their employee’s vulgarity. “Goshdarnit was I pretty peeved when they started trying to keep us from swearing,” Brady Santana, a server at Eat My Bass, told Sauce OTS, “but you know what, I’m a big flippin’ fan of the swear jar now. It’s like a joint savings account for the entire restaurant.”
There was push back from the staff initially, but after people began getting fired for resisting the change, everyone fell in line. “Honestly, the jar is the greatest mother forking thing that those ditch bass owners could have done,” Sylvia Path, general manager, said, “also, there’s the huge bonus of us being able to insult customers on tickets, and they think it’s just some weird modifier for the kitchen.” In the seven months that the swear jar policy has been in effect, the proceeds from it have been used to bail six people out of jail, begin a small venture capital firm, and open up a second location for Eat My Bass. It has been confirmed that a swear jar will be used there as well.