SAINT LOUIS, MO — Cynthia Damon has been working at a local middle school for fifteen years. As head chef of Cafeteria, she’s never missed a single day of work, and has devoted herself completely to the art of serving incredibly questionable food to children. Over the past few years, Cynthia has been stepping up her game in an attempt to be featured on the Netflix series Chef’s Table. “I don’t see it simply as cooking, I like to view what I’m creating as a work of art,” Mrs. Damon, wearing a hairnet and painter’s smock, told Sauce OTS, “anyone can place frozen food in the oven, but not everyone can bring life to it the way I do.”Cynthia boasts that the quality and presentation of her meals also put her on par with some of the most talented chefs in the world. The students/regulars at Cafeteria rave about her Pizza Fridays. The course consists of a square, cheese or pepperoni pizza on a bed of styrofoam, a vegetable medley, unseasoned to preserve the natural flavor of the can it came in; and a milk carton of the customer’s choice. Her meals are simple, but far from natural. “I admire the way she works with the preservatives, instead of trying to cover up their taste. I never fully appreciated the bold flavors that disturbingly cheap food could provide, until I tried Mrs. Damon’s cooking,” Kevin Primrose, school principal, said.Cynthia sticks to her guns, and refuses to change the menu at any time. “I’m a traditionalist,” she said, “why fix what’s broken? My diners come in knowing what to expect every day, and I never disappoint them.” The dining area of Cafeteria is bold in its simplicity. Tablecloths are completely absent, folding tables provide a family-style dining experience, and the fluorescent lights overhead give the entire room a vaguely soul-crushing ambiance. Today, the chef has decided to serve chicken tenders, with a choice of two hand opened sauce packets, and a mashed potato substitute. “Seeing how hungry the kids are when they come in,” Cynthia told Sauce OTS, “that’s why I do it. I know they don’t have a choice on where they eat lunch. That’s why I’m glad to be the one feeding them, rather than some unqualified wannabe.”

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