TUCSON, AZ– We all know those people who eat food off customers’ plates once they’re finished. We’ve all been that person at one point or another. I mean, come on. What are you supposed to do when you haven’t eaten all day and Table 25 barely touched their margherita flatbread? Throw it away? There are starving children in Africa, you know. Also in the U.S.; our numerous poverty issues are not on par with how developed we supposedly are as a country. But Stacy takes it way too far. I mean, come on, Stacy. Do you really need to bring your own Tupperware to work JUST so you can pick off others’ leftovers? What the fuck are you doing? Have some self respect; you do not need the remaining cheese sauce off that completely obliterated burrito. It’s fucking cold; watching the cheese sauce slowly drip off the plate into your trough makes us sick. Seriously. You have no idea where those people have been, and you’re just going to bring their food home with you to feast on later? We see you, you know. Everyone sees you just dumping all that shit into your stupid containers. Whoever invented Tupperware must be super rich by now. Or dead, probably. But the whole point of buying Tupperware is to use at home, for your OWN leftovers. Not other people’s. We have regulars -regulars, Stacy- who know that you don’t have a dog. That excuse didn’t even work on that annoying little ankle-biter who comes in to terrorize us instead of his mom for a change. We’ve thought about firing you over this, but we know that you’d just be out back the next day, rummaging through our compost bags like an oversized raccoon with a bachelor’s in jazz theory. Much like the side work you do, the food you eat is garbage. Please stop.

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