WICHITA, KS — Greg Isaac, a local server at Yum Yum Italian Dragon, has become patient zero for what might be America’s first epidemic in decades. “I don’t know what happened,” Greg said, “I knew something didn’t feel right. So I just called into work to let them know that I probably shouldn’t be serving tables in a sports bar.” The management at Yum Yum Italian Dragon, was remarkably understanding of his condition, telling Mr. Isaac to take as many days off as he needed.
“The last thing we need is one of our staff coming in and infecting our customers with some disease I’ve never heard of before,” Carlos Chen, owner of Yum Yum, told Sauce OTS. No one is entirely certain how contagious the pathogen is at this moment, or if a quarantine of Gregory will be effective in isolating March Madness. Unsure of how the disease is spread, Sauce On the Side reached out to several doctors. All but one refused to return our calls. Sasha Barons, PhD in history at the University of Kansas, told us over the phone: “I’m not really sure why you’re calling me about this. March Madness isn’t actually a disease.”
Sauce OTS will be on the ground, keeping you up to date on all the relevant information on the 2018 outbreak of March Madness, as it unfolds.