DETROIT, MI — Karen Klein has been a server at Take A Chili Pill for two months. Usually, she tries to come across as pleasant and professional, but before work this morning, Karen got incredibly stoned. Luckily for her, it’s been slow today and she only has one table seated in her section. “I really think I’m pulling it off,” Miss Klein, eating a bag of saltines at the server station, said, “I kind of forgot the specials but they totally let that slide. They seem cool, I just hope they don’t realize how stoned I am. Wait, why am I eating saltines? I don’t even like saltines.”


Karen’s table has been going through the exact same thought process as her, hoping that their server doesn’t notice how incredibly high they are right now. “We skipped school today,” Jason Alexander told Sauce On the Side, “we were trying to keep a low profile, but we got way too stoned and there’s no food at my house. So we decided to come here. Kelsey, or whatever her name is, seems cool. Do you think she knows we’re high? Also, when does she take our order?”


This game of cannabis-induced detente continued throughout the entire course of the meal. When Miss Klein came up and asked them what they would like to eat, she was informed that she hadn’t brought them menus. After remedying that fact, she just stood uncomfortably at the side of the table for several minutes before realizing that they needed time to look over the menus. The teenagers were confused by almost every menu item and asked Karen to essentially read the menu out loud to them from memory, it did not go well. In the end, both of the high schoolers were unsure if they had actually gotten what they had ordered, but didn’t want to ask. The interaction ended when they couldn’t figure out how much to tip and outright asked Miss Klein. She responded by saying: “I don’t know, whatever you think.”

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