JACKSONVILLE, FL — Jack Barker has been the owner of Cod’s Gift, a regional chain of family-friendly fast food restaurants/Bible study centers, for the past six years. Last night, after watching three hours of Undercover Boss, Jack decided that he should try imitating reality television and see how it goes.
Mr. Barker’s fantasy of getting to know the ins and outs of his grease empire were dashed within his first half hour on the line. “Well, none of that went like I thought it would darn it,” Jack told Sauce On the Side. “Those gentlemen back there sure are crass. Apparently, my dedication to quality service with a smile was not appreciated by my coworkers.”What the owner of Cod’s Gift means to say is that he was the most useless line cook that they’ve ever had.
Every single time he spilled something on his apron, he would take the time to clean it off and remind everyone in the kitchen that: “Our appearance is the first thing that a customer will notice.” Instead of appreciating his ability to recite the employee handbook from memory, his fellow line cooks were more focused on getting the food out.
“Oh, you best believe I fired that fucker,” Travis Mills, Jack’s former boss, said. “I literally heard him counting the seconds until a piece of fish reached ‘perfect doneness.’ I don’t think he knows what multi-tasking and I’m damn sure that he has no idea how to cook. I’m going to personally make sure that he never works for any Cod’s Gift location ever again.”