EL PASO, TX — Candice Johnson has been a server for three weeks at Tuna Barbare. She likes her job just fine, but she’s having trouble adjusting to their strict policies. “We here at Tuna Barbare take the idea of having a professional dining experience very seriously,” Avery Gardner, floor manager, told Sauce OTS, “every single interaction a server will have with their table throughout the meal is planned out word by word. Any failure to follow protocol results in an immediate write up.” This fact was clearly demonstrated to Candice after she was written up twice last week for failing to ‘greet the customer appropriately.’.


“It’s like North Korea here,” Miss Johnson, taking a break outside and looking over her shoulder the entire time, said, “they’ve got cameras all over the place, and they’re listening to every little thing I say to my tables. Super creepy, but the money’s so good I can’t leave.” Candice ran off after realizing that she had failed to recite the day’s specials to one of her tables. She came upon them, panting heavily and trying to rattle off the descriptions in between breaths. She could’ve cared less about the fact that they were in the middle of prayer, their heads bowed and hands interlocked over the table, she feared her floor manager Avery more than their God.


“And it’s….oh man, sorry guys, I’m a little winded. It… whew, it comes on a bed of kale. Does any of that interest you? Sorry about interrupting your chanting or whatever, I really had to read that to you guys,” Cadice caught Avery out of the corner of her eye, her arms folded and a scowl on her face, as she talked to her table, “can you please tell my manager what a good job I’m doing?” Miss Johnson was taken into Avery’s office after the incident. As of now, Candice is in an undisclosed location taking a ‘customer service rehabilitation’ course. It remains to be seen when she will return.

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